


Bane (Barbone) Drabbles

by ChameleonCircuit



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Insecurities, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-07
Updated: 2020-10-06
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:21:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 3,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26871325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChameleonCircuit/pseuds/ChameleonCircuit
Summary: A collection of Bane drabbles previously in a separate drabble collection
Relationships: Rafael Barba/Peter Stone
Kudos: 8





	1. “Why didn’t you say something?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: angst, emotional hurt/comfort, insecurities
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178262609292/why-didnt-you-say-something-bane

Rafael was surprised by how quickly he fell for Peter. Usually with his partners, sex came first and feelings came later, if at all. But somehow, Peter was different. It had been four months of dinners, of drinks, of stolen kisses and brushes of hands, and Rafael was sure he couldn’t be happier.

Going slow was never his style, and yet here he was, taking it slow with a man he once would have simply fucked and left without so much as a kiss. He wondered if he was getting soft in his old age.

He glanced to the side, watching the light from the TV bounce off Peter’s face, casting shadows in all the right places, accentuating his features. He smiled as he leaned in, brushing his nose against Peter’s cheek before kissing the corner of his mouth.

Peter laughed, turning to look at him, and before he could say anything, Rafael captured his lips in a gentle kiss.

“What was that for?” Peter asked, a little breathless as they broke apart.

“Do I need a reason to kiss my boyfriend?”

Rafael didn’t wait for an answer. He moved in again, this time more heated as he cupped Peter’s head, deepening the kiss. Peter’s hands seemed to hesitate before sitting somewhere at his waist, and in an effort to make the angle easier, Rafael positioned himself so he was straddling him, letting Peter’s hands fall naturally to his hips.

He hadn’t intended things to become so heated, had genuinely only planned on stealing a kiss before going back to their movie, but there was a desperation growing inside of him, a heat pooling in his belly as he felt himself growing hard, and he ground down against Peter to show his appreciation, deepening the kiss further.

Peter gasped, but not in the way Rafael had expected, and when he pulled back it wasn’t lust, or want, or need he saw in Peter’s eyes, but fear. Fear and uncertainty and just a hint of sadness, and Rafael’s stomach churned.

He cupped Peter’s cheek, thumb brushing across his kiss-bruised lips. “Are you okay?”

“Fine.” The response was quick, snappy, and Rafael’s heart sunk.

“Talk to me,” he whispered, letting his hand fall to Peter’s shoulder. “If you’re not ready, I—“

“I should be though, shouldn’t I?” Peter asked, voice fiery, wavering just a little. “It’s been four months. I’m surprised we lasted this long.”

“Lasted…are you breaking up with me?” He was surprised by just how much that hurt, surprised by the sting of tears in his eyes at the thought of this being over before it had really even begun.

“It’s for the best,” Peter muttered, moving to shift Rafael off him, but Rafael planted a hand firmly on his chest, pushing him back down.

“What the hell are you talking about?” He was aware he sounded desperate, aware of the pitch his voice had taken, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care at that moment.

“I don’t want to have sex with you,” Peter said bluntly. “I likely never will. So, while this has been fun, I should probably leave.”

Rafael frowned, shaking his head. “No. No, I don’t want you to leave.”

“What if I want to leave?” Peter shot back, shifting Rafael off his lap successfully this time.

“Then I won’t stop you,” Rafael said quietly. “But if you’re leaving because you think all I want is sex—“

“Don’t tell me you don’t want to fuck me.”

Rafael’s eyes widened at Peter’s choice of phrasing before he let out a small sigh, deflating entirely. “I won’t deny that. But I would never pressure you, or force you, or—“

“No. You’ll just resent me.”

There was a bitterness to Peter’s tone that spoke of past experience, and Rafael was hit with a realization:

“You’re asexual.” It wasn’t a question, just a stated fact, and Peter nodded mutely, lowering his head. “Why didn’t you say something?”

“Because I’m selfish,” Peter shrugged, avoiding eye contact. “Because I wanted you for as long as I could have you.”

“You still have me,” Rafael whispered, reaching out to link their fingers, giving Peter’s hand a small squeeze. “If you still want me.”

“Of course I want you. These past four months…I’d have been lost without you.”

“So stay,” Rafael insisted, inching closer. “Stay, and we’ll work the rest out as it comes.”

Peter looked at Rafael, eyes shining with unshed tears, before closing the distance to press a chaste kiss to Rafael’s lips.

“Okay,” he said softly, though Rafael could tell he didn’t think it would work out. “Okay.”


	2. “I’m here.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: light angst I guess?, fluff, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178431546697/im-here-bane

Rafael flicked the light on the moment his hand could fit through the gap in the door, eyes tracking every inch of space as the door opened further and further, revealing more. Not for the first time, he was grateful for open plan living.

He listened to the deadbolt click behind him before allowing himself a moment to melt against the door, Peter’s breath ghosting across his face before kissing him hungrily, like he’d been waiting his whole life to do it, like it was the first time.

One. Two. Three.

He broke away, pushing on Peter’s hips so he could turn around. He could feel the hairs stand up on the back of his neck knowing Peter was there, watching him, wanting him, but it didn’t change his need check.

He closed his hand around the door handle, testing it once, twice, three times, before he pulled for extra measure, then pushed to make sure it was locked in place.

Peter’s hands found his hips once more, breath hot against his neck, and he leaned back into the touch, let his head rest back against Peter’s shoulder, straining his neck to press a kiss to his jaw.

“I’ll be back in a moment,” Rafael murmured, pulling away once more.

He took a deep breath before taking a step, counting each of the fifteen steps to his bedroom door. He cracked the door open, reaching for the light switch before opening it fully, taking the room in inch by inch. He took another breath before counting the five steps towards his dresser, placing his wallet and keys in their nook.

Six steps to the walk-in wardrobe, skin prickling with anticipation.

“You okay?” Peter called out, a tinge of worry in his voice.

Rafael stepped inside the walk-in, eyes tracking every corner. He wanted to go back to Peter, kiss him senseless, abandon his routine, but he couldn’t quite bring himself to.

“I’m fine,” he called back as he closed the door to the walk-in behind him.

Eleven steps back to the door, four steps up the hall to the spare bedroom, just to check—somehow, the spare bedroom always made the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end—and then four steps to the bathroom, always the last on his checklist.

When the bathroom, too, was clear, he stepped back out, and instantly arms were around him, causing an embarrassing yelp to slip past his lips.

“Sorry,” Peter frowned, taking a small step back. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

Rafael took a deep breath before reaching out to pull Peter back towards him. “Never better,” he purred before pulling Peter into a searing kiss, backing him towards his bedroom.

—

Rafael awoke suddenly, heart pounding erratically. He listened intently, waiting to hear something, whatever it was that had woken him up, and after a moment, he heard a tap, not quite a bang, like plastic falling to tiled floor. He sat up in an instant, legs swinging over the edge of the bed, reaching blindly for his phone.

Then came a heavy stream of water, and he frowned, confused for a moment before realizing someone was using his toilet. The breath he’d been holding rushed out of him, leaving him feeling light-headed as he remembered Peter had stayed the night.

He listened to the toilet flush and the tap run with closed eyes, willing his heart to calm down before Peter came back to bed, but he had no such luck.

“Sorry, did I wake you?” Peter asked quietly, closing the bedroom door behind him, but Rafael couldn’t seem to make his mouth work.

Peter padded across the floorboards to his side of the bed, quiet as ever despite not needing to be now, and Rafael counted the steps. Peter’s stride was longer than his, his steps fewer, and for some reason that only made Rafael’s heart beat faster. The numbers weren’t right, weren’t calming and familiar.

“Hey,” Peter said softly as the bed dipped with his weight. “You okay?”

A gentle hand landed on Rafael’s shoulder and he leaned into the touch, letting it guide him back under the covers, eyes still closed, now counting his breaths.

In, one, two, three.

Out, one, two, three.

In, one, two, three.

Out, one, two, three.

Peter just held him, silent and patient, waiting until Rafael had calmed down enough to speak.

“I’m sorry,” he croaked out, eyes still shut, too embarrassed to look at Peter now.

“What for?”

“It’s silly.”

“It’s not.” Peter’s voice was unbearably gentle, so full of compassion that Rafael had to look at him, sigh slipping past his lips.

“You have no idea.”

Peter propped himself up on his elbow, head resting in his hand, pulling Rafael ever-closer with his other arm. “So tell me.”

“Death threats. I’m sure you get them too.” Peter nodded. “Well, mine became in-person threats, physical threats, threats with a name and a gang and an unknown force behind them. I guess I never quite got over it.”

Peter smiled sadly before leaning in to press a feather-light kiss to Rafael’s cheek. “That’s understandable.

“It’s ridiculous,” Rafael huffed, turning away.

Peter was silent and still for a while, but eventually, he settled behind Rafael, pulling him flush against his chest, face nuzzled into the crook of his neck. He breathed in before pressing a kiss to Rafael’s shoulder, and Rafael melted into the touch in an instant, a blessed sense of calm washing over him.

“I’m here,” Peter said quietly. “And as long as I’m here, no one will ever hurt you.”

Rafael huffed a disbelieving laugh. “You can’t promise that.”

“You’re right,” Peter conceded. “But I can do my damn best to make sure of it.”


	3. "It doesn’t matter what they think, I just care about what you think.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: light angst, insecurities, emotional hurt/comfort
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178524931757/it-doesnt-matter-what-they-think-i-just-care

Peter could feel the morning light filter across his face, warm and inviting, and he smiled as he rolled over. He watched with sleep-hazed affection as Rafael dressed himself quietly, unaware Peter was awake.

“Where are you going?”

Rafael jumped before turning, and Peter felt his smile slip at the expression on Rafael’s face. He looked guilty, like he’d been caught, but there was something else there, too. Something sad and unexpected.

“What’s wrong?”

“I’m sorry,” Rafael said with a sad smile. “I was hoping to leave before you woke up.

“Why?” Peter all but whispered, patting the bed beside him, hoping Rafael would take him on his offer.

He didn’t. Instead he sighed, sitting in the chair opposite, running a hand over his face. “I can’t keep doing this, Peter.”

“Okay,” Peter cleared his throat, propping himself up so he could get a better look at Rafael. “I thought we were having fun.”

Rafael nodded, trying to look stern, but his expression was far too pinched for that. “We were. And now it’s over.”

Peter swallowed and nodded, sitting up, pulling the blankets with him. He desperately wanted to beg Rafael to stay, to reconsider, but he didn’t want to sound needy, so he let the words go unsaid, feeling exposed for the way they must surely be written on his face.

Rafael watched him, seeming unable to leave, unable to pick himself up from that chair under Peter’s gaze, and he felt emboldened, just a little.

“Is it something I did? Because—“

“No. God. No, you’re…perfect.”

Peter laughed, unable to help himself. He felt far from perfect at that moment, barely resisting the urge to outright beg Rafael to return to him, barely resisting the urge to blurt out the confession of love on the tip of his tongue.

Rafael’s lips quirked up in a smirk as he ducked his head, trying to hide it, and Peter felt a pang in his chest, throat growing unexpectedly tight.

“If I’m so perfect,” Peter started slowly, trying to keep his voice measured, “then why leave?”

“Think of what people will say about you if they found out,” Rafael whispered. “You’re morally solid, a good man, the DA’s golden boy. I’ll only ruin your reputation, so I think it’s best we quit while we’re ahead.”

As the words sunk in, Peter found himself rising from the bed, crossing the space between them to kneel in front of Rafael. He smiled as he caught Rafael’s eyes, surprisingly wet, surprisingly sad, heart laid bare in a move so unlike himself that Peter felt he was intruding. But he forced himself to make eye contact, taking Rafael’s hands in his own.

“It doesn’t matter what they think. I only care about what you think.” He squeezed Rafael’s hands for emphasis before adding with a chuckle, “And, clearly, you think quite highly of me.”

Rafael shook his head, trying to pull away, but Peter just reached up to cup his cheek, to hold him in place. He brushed his thumb across Rafael’s cheekbone before trailing his finger down his jawline, tilting his head as he leaned up, lips ghosting across Rafael’s.

“I mean it,” he whispered, and he could see Rafael’s eyes darting around, searching. “I care more about you than any of them.”

Before Rafael could respond, before he could attempt to protest again, Peter closed the distance, and Rafael melted against him instantly, pulling him in closer.


	4. "Don't touch me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: angst
> 
> http://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/178885818392/dont-touch-me-bane

Peter followed Rafael out of the courthouse, weaving through the crowds of pedestrians, leaning up on his toes at every opportunity to make sure he didn’t lose sight of him. Eventually, just as Rafael was rounding the corner, Peter laid a hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t touch me,” Rafael hissed, spinning around violently.

Peter could see the tears in his eyes, could see the way his chest heaved, likely burning with each breath, and his stomach churned uncomfortably.

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you?” Rafael raised an eyebrow. “Because last I checked, you live in Chicago, not New York. You had a choice.”

Peter winced, knowing that was entirely true. He knew he couldn’t justify agreeing to take the case by simply saying he felt he couldn’t say no. That was the coward’s answer. And, truly, he felt like a coward.

“McCoy—“

“Is easier to say no to than you think,” Rafael snapped. “And he was my boss.”

“Was?”

Rafael snorted, mirthless smile taking over his face as he turned his head away. “What, you really think they’re gonna let a baby killer continue working for the DA?”

Peter sighed, lowering his gaze as guilt surged through his veins. “Of course. I’m sorry.”

“As much as it pains me to say it, it’s not your fault,” Rafael muttered before turning to walk away.

Peter’s heart sank as he watched Rafael take two steps, but then he paused, turning to look back at Peter again.

“Tell me why you did it.”

“I’m sorry?” Peter frowned.

“Do you hate me that much that you wanted to not only see me in prison, but be the one who put me there?”

Rafael’s voice rose in both volume and pitch as he stalked back towards Peter, drawing the attention of passers-by.

“I don’t hate you,” Peter said quietly, chest tightening.

“Then why? Because I would never have done this to you. I loved you. I would never—“

“You left!” Peter shouted, heart suddenly aching as a lump began forming in his throat. “You left me. I needed you, and you left. No explanation, no phone call, not even a note. You just left, Rafael.”

“So you prosecuted me,” Rafael snorted, shaking his head. “Very mature.”

Peter rolled his eyes, feeling anger burn hot in his stomach. “You wanna preach about maturity? You were too much of a coward to even tell me you were leaving.”

“Oh, I’m a coward? You spent your whole life running from your father, yet here you are, keeping up appearances, too scared to tell anyone what your father was really like.”

Peter laughed, a bitter thing that seemed to burn on its way up. “Yeah, okay, Rafael. Whatever you say.”

There was a pause, a moment where they both stared each other down before Peter took a step towards Rafael, faces inches apart.

“I took the case because a part of me wanted to see if you’d even care,” he hissed, and a wave of relief washed over him at having said it out loud, at having admitted it, not only to himself, but to someone else.

Just as Peter was about to pull away, Rafael grabbed him by the front of his coat, capturing his lips in a bruising kiss. On instinct, or perhaps simply because he wanted to, because he could, Peter brought his hands up to Rafael’s face, running his fingers into his hair.

“Of course I care,” Rafael said as he pulled away, his voice rough with emotion. He kept his eyes down, hands still firmly gripping the front of Peter’s jacket. “I never stopped loving you.”

Before Peter could react, before he could say anything, Rafael turned and left, and Peter, frozen in place, watched as he disappeared into the Manhattan crowd.


	5. "Can I kiss you?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> chapter tags: fluff
> 
> https://sofuckingchuffed.tumblr.com/post/184378803502/can-i-kiss-you-and-bane-please

As they stepped out onto the sidewalk, cool air hitting their faces, Peter was struck by the reality of their situation. He hadn’t intended to run into Rafael, despite the fact that he’d not stopped thinking about him ever since prosecuting him. Those thoughts had always been filled with guilt, not longing or desire. Yet tonight, when he’d looked into Rafael’s eyes, seen Rafael smile, that’s exactly what he’d felt. Longing, desire, an absolute want for a man he was sure he could never have.

He shivered, more from the harsh reminder that their reality was more tainted than just casual drinks in a bar than the cold, and turned to look at Rafael. When Rafael smiled at him, that same slight quirk of his lips he’d worn in the bar, eyes sparkling and cheeks flushed, Peter’s stomach swooped, heart working double time.

“I’ll, er…walk you home?” Peter suggested, cheeks burning as he ducked his head.

Rafael snorted in response. “If you want.”

They walked in silence, moving away from the bustling, crowded bars towards quieter streets. Every so often their elbows bumped, and every time they did, Peter’s heart skipped a beat. He had no idea why he was so affected all of a sudden, but he couldn’t seem to switch it off.

His heart hammered against his ribs as they came to a stop outside Rafael’s building. He swallowed hard, wishing the sudden dryness in his mouth would leave.

“Thanks for the drinks, Peter,” Rafael’s voice sounded softer than Peter had ever heard it, more sincere.

When he looked at Rafael, he was smiling. Not his usual smirk, but something softer, something more personal, like it was designed just for him. As Rafael turned towards the door, Peter’s hand shot out, grabbing him by the wrist.

“Can I kiss you?” He whispered, voice shaking just a little, nerves bubbling hot in his stomach.

Rafael’s usual smirk was back in place as he turned to face Peter properly, stepping just a little closer. “I don’t know, can you?”

Peter hoped it was the challenge he read it as as he surged forward, cupping the back of Rafael’s head as their lips met. Instantly, Rafael’s hands settled on his waist, pulling him in closer so their hips were flush together, deepening the kiss. Every nerve ending seemed to tingle with anticipation, with want, with desire, with _need_. His head swam, dizzy and desperate, and when they broke apart, he was pleased to find Rafael just as affected, just as breathless as he was.

Peter laughed as he pressed their foreheads together, lightly running his thumb across Rafael’s lips.

“Do you want to come up for a drink?” Rafael asked, voice a little rough with lust.

“God, yes,” Peter whispered before capturing Rafael’s lips again.


End file.
